“I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world.”
Ah, Ancient Greece - the place were history was invented, some of the greatest temples that stand to this day were build, and olives were eaten by the thousand. Everyone has, at some point in their lives, been captivated by the myths, or if not the myths the poetry, or if not the poetry the sculptures of this beautiful era.
But was it as straight as we commonly believe?
Not at all!
In the same way that being straight is the standard in today’s society, in Greco-Roman times it was standard to be bisexual. This is most prominent in the myths, were many male Gods (Apollo and Zeus most notably) took men as lovers.
In one of his most famous love affairs, Apollo fell in love with a young Spartan prince named Hyacinthus. Unlike the rest of his affairs, Hyacinthus felt the same way and they got along beautifully! Unfortunately, Apollo wasn’t the only infatuated God. Zephyr, God of the East Wind, was also enchanted by Hyacinthus’ beauty and grew insanely jealous - so much so that he decided if he couldn’t have the prince then nobody could. When one windy day Apollo was showing Hyacinthus how to throw a discus, Zephyr rerouted the winds and the discus swung back at the mortal, killing him near-instantly. Apollo, struck by grief, turned the man into a flower to forever preserve his beauty, and so came the hyacinth. (Recounted here)
But these tragic tales are not the only place where we find evidence of queer relationships - there were plenty of records of queer relationships happening all around.
The most common example of a queer relationship existed between an adult man and a youth, called a pederasty. Typically before marriage, a man would take it on himself to “teach” a young man by allowing him to take a passive role in sex. (x)
Speaking of the passive/active system, that was the way Ancient Greeks determined sexuality; not by whothey were attracted to, but how.
Alexander the Great, perhaps the most successful general of Ancient Greece, was known for having three different wives and one favorite male lover - a man named Hephaestion.
Hephaestion and Alexander grew up together, studied together under Aristotle, and when they grew up, went into battle together (Hephaestion was named the cavalry commander, then the second-in-command to Alexander). In one of their most outwardly queer moves, the two made wreaths to leave at the shrines of Achilles and Patroculus (x) - the two soldiers of the Trojan war who were undeniably, irrefutably, in love with each other (x).
When Hephaestion died in battle, Alexander grieved greatly - asking the priests to recognize him as a god, not eating for nearly twelve days, and, according to Arrian of Nicomedia, he had “flung himself on the body of his friend and lay there nearly all day long in tears, and refused to be parted from him until he was dragged away by force by his Companions”.
He himself died twelve days later, drowned in alcohol and sick.
And how could I even begin to discuss queer relationships in the Greco-Roman era without mentioning Sappho of Lesbos!
Lesbians of this day named themselves after her island because of the intense homoeroticism in her poetry.
She wrote many many love poems to women, the most famous of which being:
“It is no use dear mother, I cannot weave You may blame slender Aphrodite, for she has cursed me With longing for a girl.”
Although she was seen as bisexual in the time period, as that was the standard, she had many women lovers and never married (despite records of her marrying Kerkylas of Andros which came from a comedic play, and the name of the man translates to Dick from Man Island).
And although Rome was overtaken by Christianity in its later period and therefore homosexuality was condemned, it is widely known that many Roman generals had love affairs with other men with society operating very similarly to the Greek system. Unfortunately, much evidence of famous queer relationships got wiped off of the slate by Christian Historians, so one of the only people who we know was actively queer is Caesar, who made no effort to hide his affairs.
He was a prolific flirt, having affairs with many of his opponent’s sisters and wives, as well as several other kings. Most funnily of all, however was that was that he was greatly teased for bottoming with men, earning him the title of “every woman’s man and every man’s woman.” (x)
